Men's Work: Do I Have What It Takes?

One question that I believe every man asks himself is, "Do I have what it takes?

If you are interested in men's work and what that answer looks like to you, please visit us at the ManKind Project of KY™ (http://www.kentucky.mkp.org/) or call 502.939.4333 for more information on local men's circles, men's initatory weekends, and more exciting connection for men seeking impact and breakthrough in their masculine journey.

Friend us (ManKind Project - Kentucky)or Fan us (New Warrior Training Adventure Weekend) on Facebook or Follow us on Twitter (@MKPKentucky).

Who's Your Poser? (A Self-Test for Men)

In his book Wild at Heart (2001, Thomas Nelson), author John Eldredge gives us a glimpse at Adam, the first man.

Adam is hiding. 'I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.' (Gen. 3:10) Eldredge says, "You don't need a course in psychology to understand men...We are hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we are meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have run off into the bushes...Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a facade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise." (p. 52)

Here's your mission, a sort of self-test for men (if you choose to accept it)...

This may be one of the most courageous things you can do as a man - and one of the most life-changing: Ask a few people you know very well to give you some feedback about you as a man.

Part of the test you can take before asking the question. Ask yourself this: "What words would I use to describe myself as a man? Are words like strong, passionate or dangerous words you would use?

On your short list of people to ask should be a few men you respect - men who model something that inspires your heart to be a better man. Also, ask the woman in your life (if you have one) what she thinks. Ah, feel your heart beating just a tad faster now, huh?

Bottom line: The Poser in each of us as men, that brilliant disguise, that "fig leaf," is always in the way of the authentic masculinity that God hardwired into each of us. And just because you may not believe in God doesn't mean you don't have a "fig leaf." Conversely, just because you believe in God doesn't mean you can't be in Poser mode.

The job of The Poser is to take away something essential to the nature of being a man.

Ask honestly; listen honestly; score honestly. And I would love to know what words you hear.

I heard: "Careful...diligent...high concern how I'm seen by others (ouch!)...prideful (ouch!)...passionate...self-absorbed at times (ouch!)...extremely intelligent...persuasive...intense...strategic." The man I asked to give me the feedback was a man I trusted to tell me the truth.

And that's the greatest weapon to defeat The Poser in me...tell the truth!

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at http://www.mkpky.org/
For more information on John Eldredge, please visit http://www.ransomedheart.com/
His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project™ or Ransomed Heart™.

Checking In

It's been a while; this I know. Most of the time in recent memory has been starkly resonant with the lack of God's voice. He is silent, quiet, still on His throne. "What is it that you are not saying?" This is the question I have fear to ask.

It seems late in life to be worried about being a better man, but that's exactly what my heart searches for. I want to be a better man. Sometimes I am - sometimes I am not. I know the difference. And sometimes I am afraid to get closer to Christ because He does not waver. How can I look upon anything that courageous for very long without feeling weak of heart?

And if I take a deep breath and a step back, I can see that the path He is leading me down has no map. It is His will to take me into the quiet places where the battles and the adventures come one after the other, where I feel out of breath and sometimes hope. God hasn't left my side for a moment - and that is a great comfort when I choose to go to war for the hearts of others.

I want to be a better man. That's something I can enjoy today as God blesses me with continued life. There are many opportunities for hope that surround me. I am not alone.

Father God...

Thank You for Your love and Your mercy. I need You to help me overcome. You are the strength I need to go on. Help me to become a better man. Amen.

An Adventure to Live - Are You Ready?

You're probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue your growth. The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to. If you're ready to make a bold choice, that door can be thrown wide open. The ManKind Project® of KY (MKP KY) presents training for men called the New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA). At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years. The next NWTA is to be held April 16-18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. Registration is now open and spots are limited. To register online go to www.mkpky.org or call 502.939.4333 for more information. Are you ready?

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with the ManKind Project.

The Time Has Come

"Father, the time has come."

Somehow these words of Jesus in the garden on the night before what has to be the worst Friday anyone has endured give me comfort. It is at this moment, as a man, he chooses to walk past his own fear and accept his mission.

Do you have a mission? Other words may apply: purpose, destiny, calling. As a man - and especially as a man in a world that has many of its own definitions of what a man should be - I find both fear and fierceness coarse through my blood as I think about my mission.

It is not easy being a man. If you doubt that assumption, take a look around your own life as a man - and take a look at the men who surround you...in your family, in your career, in your neighborhood or even in your place of worship. What's the message(s) you receive from these men?

Most men, in my opinion, are probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue to grow in ways that speak to living out a purpose, a destiny, a calling - a mission.

The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. Many men, like myself, find this model of masculinity in the life of Christ. It is something that God, the Creator, has hardwired into each of us as men. Unfortunately, many men seek their masculinity through the consequences of pressure: addiction, sexual or otherwise, money, work, or an anger that could either be internalized or externalized.

You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to.

Author John Eldredge (Wild at Heart) says, "The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart." From a faithful place in my heart, I can offer an invitation to other men of a bold choice: Throw the door wide open!

The ManKind Project® of Kentucky (MKP KY) presents a training for men called The New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA), a 3-day experiential adventure designed to bring men deeper into their hearts and into a life of deeper connection to accountability, integrity, and mission. At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years.

In Kentucky, our next NWTA will be held April 16 - 18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. For more information, visit www.mkp.org and discover more about a circle of men who will support you in walking through the door. A new mission - a new life - is on the other side.

You have what it takes. The time has come...

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at www.mkpky.org

For more information on John Eldredge, please visit www.ransomedheart.com

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project or Ransomed Heart.

Liverpool Rain (A Tribute to Lennon)

It had been a long Monday in early December of 1980, my freshman year at Manhattanville College in New York. After a full day of classes and a nighttime slot as disc jockey for the campus AM radio station, I hit the showers and returned to my dorm room intent on watching the end of the Dolphins/Patriots game on Monday Night Football. As I dried off my hair, I was stunned to hear announcer Howard Cosell digress from the on-field activity:

“This is just a football game. An unspeakable tragedy, confirmed to us by ABC News in New York City. John Lennon, outside of his apartment building on the West Side of New York…shot twice in the back, rushed to Roosevelt Hospital…dead on arrival.”

Within seconds, I began to hear the sounds of female co-eds up and down our wing of Spellman Hall crying out in horror, an unnerving echo of grief that shivered my bare skin. What the fuck? As my eyes filled with tears, I took some weak-kneed steps towards my bed. Sitting down, I swallowed the news and made it my own: John was gone. The dream was over. As a child born in 1962, I reached the age of two and they invaded. It was all over after that. My oldest brother, Mickey, was in a rock band as I grew up a small boy idolizing how cool he was. The Beatles, and John, were his heroes – and, so, they became mine. He once met George Harrison. I would listen to the old Capitol LP’s him and my oldest sister, Nancy, owned; sometimes it would come down to crying, screaming, and kicking up a storm to get to borrow them for an hour or two. At night, I would fall to sleep with a small transistor radio under my pillow, locked on to the hot AM stations of New York City, my heart leaping back awake whenever a Beatles song would burst through the speaker.

In April of 1970, my mother bought me my first record, a copy of Paul McCartney’s first solo album, McCartney. A few weeks earlier I had been visiting our family dentist, who liked to listen to the radio as he did work. He was talking to his assistant, and I looked up to see his eyes above the line of his dental mask – they were getting wet and glistening. He stopped drilling for a few moments, and I was afraid, asking him what was wrong. There was Beatles music coming from the office radio, and he said, “They’re breaking up.” He shook his head. “They just announced The Beatles are breaking up.” I had never seen my father cry, and Dr. Brittan was the first man I’d ever witnessed, up close, come to tears. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

So, for the next decade, I stood on the sidelines and held my breath: when would they come together? As I sat on the edge of my bed at Manhattanville College on December 8, 1980, I let the breath go and wept. The sobs of grief were soon interrupted by a knocking on my door. Several young women stood out in the hall, wanting to come in and listen to my Beatles albums. For the night my room was open, the music played, and we cried and sang and lost the dream together.

I still miss you, mate.

Temporal Weakness, Eternal Strength

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…”

In reading Paul’s words from his Second Letter to the Corinthians (4:7-9 NASB), I imagine him thinking, ‘Life is hard, but I will not lose heart.’ Yet, in such temporal weakness, Paul discovered an eternal strength: the power of God the Creator is endless, while the fleeting power of “…the god of this world…” (4:3 NASB) – Satan – ultimately blinds many to the truth of the gospel.

And life is hard. Allow me to share some of my own thoughts recently penned:

“I’m not even sure where to begin to pray – or for what. The loneliness kills me; the poverty crushes me into dust. I look over my shoulder and see the wake of a wasted life. I look ahead of me and see nothing. The constant nothing of the now has become unbearable.” (Nov. 7, 2009, JOURNAL FORTY: Ransomed Heart – A Battle to Fight, p. 163)

A mere 24 hours ago I felt an increasing terror of hopelessness, the confusion of trying to figure a way out of a life seemingly crushed, despaired, forsaken, and destroyed. Through the words of John Piper in a small book called When the Darkness Will Not Lift (2006, Crossway Books), I was guided to the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians. Weeping tears of joy, I realized my weakness is essential to God – and like this earthen vessel my body now lives in such weakness is temporal. God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love – foundations for His power – are eternal. But they must be sought, desired, and accepted.

Most of my life I’ve been searching for a cure from afflictions, as if Frodo Baggins of the Shire carrying the One Ring but without the hope of reaching Mordor to cast away such evil and complete my journey. And the closer I’ve drawn to God over the past four years, the more vicious the assaults on my heart have become. Life is hard – and the “god of this world” wouldn’t have it any other way: all of the pleasure is the other side of the coin to so much pain. Paul tells us “…as we received mercy, we do not lose heart, but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth…” (4:1-2 NASB). The mercies of God are eternal – and the heart is not to be lost.

I’ve been on a sojourn for my heart of late. In his book Wild at Heart (2001, Thomas Nelson, Inc.), John Eldredge symbolizes such travels in comparison to Christ’s wilderness trial, “a test of his identity…If a man is ever to find out who he is and what he’s here for, he has got to take that journey for himself. He has got to get his heart back.” (p. 6) I lost my heart in the maze of “things hidden because of shame,” and there is no amount of walking in craftiness or cheating God’s call that will lead me to the truth. In the wilderness, Satan tried to defeat Jesus through his weaknesses. Christ’s only hope was to remind the Accuser of God’s power.

“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Cor 4:3-4 NASB)

To be perishing and blind is, in the eyes of Paul, to be dying and in darkness. I think again of poor Frodo, on the steppes of Mount Doom where he can’t even remember with Samwise Gamgee’s help the greens of the Shire or the taste of strawberries and cream, feeling only “naked and alone in the dark.” Paul, as Saul, knew something about blindness and unbelieving – until he experienced, firsthand, the transforming power of the gospel of Christ. I believe we all have been on the road to Damascus, destined for a street called Straight.

Therefore, the invitation is to welcome the affliction, perplexity, persecution, and strike downs of self. One of the most courageous paths a man can seek and choose, in my humble judgment, is to die to self and live for God. Paul exhorts us: “But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, ‘I BELIEVED, THEREFORE I SPOKE,’ we also believe, therefore we also speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you.” (2 Cor 4:13-14 NASB)

My brothers, do not lose heart! The battle for faith is real – to which side does your allegiance belong? Life is hard, even for the faithful in Christ. Would you choose temporal pleasures over eternal life? In his final words at the end of Chapter 4, Paul clearly lays out a path: “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor 4:16-18 NASB)

Salvation is of God, not of me. There is nothing I can do or say or think to merit what was done by Jesus on the Cross – for me, for you, for mankind. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NASB) A choice is to be made: temporal or eternal? Choose wisely – but choose. The most important truth is the easiest to forget: Jesus Christ died so that sinners would be reconciled to God and forgiven by God. My prayers for those reading this who do not have a reconciled relationship with God would be that your next steps lead you onto the path of eternal strength and away from temporal weakness.

More on JOHN PIPER is available at: http://www.desiringgod.org/
More on JOHN ELDREDGE is available at: http://www.ransomedheart.com/