The Pruning Season

'He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.' (John 15:2 NIV)

I am not a gardener; I've never had experience growing something with vines and branches, much less anything that required cutting and pruning to keep healthy and productive. I am, though, painfully aware that in my life right now I am being pruned by God.

A good friend of mine gave me a Slinky yesterday, that inexplicable toy of joy from my childhood that doesn't require an owner's manual or parental help to use...I can just pick it up and get to the joy of what it produces. Part of the dynamics "behind the fun," obviously, is the tension that creates the motion of the Slinky in use...a part of me has to be aware of it in my hands and what I am doing with my hands in order to create the joy. So, what does a Slinky have to do with pruning? Well, to me, it seems as if I would have to know what I plan to do with the pruning shears in my hand before I begin to cut away at the vine and branches before me...otherwise, I may not get the results (fruitful growth) that I desire for the plants before me.

So, too, it must be with God and me right now. He knows exactly what He wants to prune in me. Me? I'm not too sure what's going on - a part of me is afraid of someone coming at me with God-sized pruning shears and aiming for places in me and my life I don't want to have cut away. Some of these branches are just gnarly, overgrown, hazardous to the health of the vine, etc. Plants obviously need (desire) light, air, soil, water, along with good nutrients and care to grow and prosper. If I am spending too much time in the dark, away from fresh air, have stopped tilling the soil of my heart, am parched and hungry for the goodness of God, His Word, and the amazing talents of His transformation in my life, well...it's no wonder that the branches - to some extent - have stopped becoming fruitful.

His shears are handled deftly, accurately, with grace, mercy and love...they are pruning away such dead branches as my love affairs with pot and pornography. He is cutting away at such toxic branches in me of laziness to work, arrogance, and deceit. Right now, it feels as if God is clipping away at some thick, twisted branches of loneliness and loss of desire that have wrapped themselves dangerously around the root of my heart that, unless taken away, have the potential to do some great damage. I believe God knows that His pruning hurts me. I also believe that He loves me enough to hurt me a little to help me a lot.

Part of why the pruning season hurts so much right now is that I don't want to see some of these branches go. Just as I could help the overall life, growth and productivity of any plant by doing the positive things to it, I can also help create the unfruitful branches, too, by feeding them what they need to grow. This doesn't help the plant (me)...and any good gardener (a Master one, of course) would immediately feel led to prune whatever must be cut in order to save the plant. No gardener wants to see any plant die, just as I believe that God does not want to see any one of His creation miss the opportunity to return to Him and His love. Sadly, some plants die because they were not pruned. Even more sad is the reality that some of us in this world may suffer because of the inability to allow God in.

As the pruning season continues, I experience both the pain of the cuts and the healing that comes from them. I experience in all of this the tension of watching/feeling those unhealthy parts of me being taken out of me by God for a greater purpose (growth...being fruitful) and somehow knowing that something amazing will be happening as new branches are given space to grow.

Sort of like putting the Slinky at the top of the staircase and watching it walk itself down one step at a time...the man in me stands next to the boy in me and marvels in wonder, 'How does it do that?'

Men's Work: Do I Have What It Takes?

One question that I believe every man asks himself is, "Do I have what it takes?

If you are interested in men's work and what that answer looks like to you, please visit us at the ManKind Project of KY™ (http://www.kentucky.mkp.org/) or call 502.939.4333 for more information on local men's circles, men's initatory weekends, and more exciting connection for men seeking impact and breakthrough in their masculine journey.

Friend us (ManKind Project - Kentucky)or Fan us (New Warrior Training Adventure Weekend) on Facebook or Follow us on Twitter (@MKPKentucky).

Who's Your Poser? (A Self-Test for Men)

In his book Wild at Heart (2001, Thomas Nelson), author John Eldredge gives us a glimpse at Adam, the first man.

Adam is hiding. 'I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.' (Gen. 3:10) Eldredge says, "You don't need a course in psychology to understand men...We are hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we are meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have run off into the bushes...Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a facade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise." (p. 52)

Here's your mission, a sort of self-test for men (if you choose to accept it)...

This may be one of the most courageous things you can do as a man - and one of the most life-changing: Ask a few people you know very well to give you some feedback about you as a man.

Part of the test you can take before asking the question. Ask yourself this: "What words would I use to describe myself as a man? Are words like strong, passionate or dangerous words you would use?

On your short list of people to ask should be a few men you respect - men who model something that inspires your heart to be a better man. Also, ask the woman in your life (if you have one) what she thinks. Ah, feel your heart beating just a tad faster now, huh?

Bottom line: The Poser in each of us as men, that brilliant disguise, that "fig leaf," is always in the way of the authentic masculinity that God hardwired into each of us. And just because you may not believe in God doesn't mean you don't have a "fig leaf." Conversely, just because you believe in God doesn't mean you can't be in Poser mode.

The job of The Poser is to take away something essential to the nature of being a man.

Ask honestly; listen honestly; score honestly. And I would love to know what words you hear.

I heard: "Careful...diligent...high concern how I'm seen by others (ouch!)...prideful (ouch!)...passionate...self-absorbed at times (ouch!)...extremely intelligent...persuasive...intense...strategic." The man I asked to give me the feedback was a man I trusted to tell me the truth.

And that's the greatest weapon to defeat The Poser in me...tell the truth!

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at http://www.mkpky.org/
For more information on John Eldredge, please visit http://www.ransomedheart.com/
His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project™ or Ransomed Heart™.

Checking In

It's been a while; this I know. Most of the time in recent memory has been starkly resonant with the lack of God's voice. He is silent, quiet, still on His throne. "What is it that you are not saying?" This is the question I have fear to ask.

It seems late in life to be worried about being a better man, but that's exactly what my heart searches for. I want to be a better man. Sometimes I am - sometimes I am not. I know the difference. And sometimes I am afraid to get closer to Christ because He does not waver. How can I look upon anything that courageous for very long without feeling weak of heart?

And if I take a deep breath and a step back, I can see that the path He is leading me down has no map. It is His will to take me into the quiet places where the battles and the adventures come one after the other, where I feel out of breath and sometimes hope. God hasn't left my side for a moment - and that is a great comfort when I choose to go to war for the hearts of others.

I want to be a better man. That's something I can enjoy today as God blesses me with continued life. There are many opportunities for hope that surround me. I am not alone.

Father God...

Thank You for Your love and Your mercy. I need You to help me overcome. You are the strength I need to go on. Help me to become a better man. Amen.

An Adventure to Live - Are You Ready?

You're probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue your growth. The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to. If you're ready to make a bold choice, that door can be thrown wide open. The ManKind Project® of KY (MKP KY) presents training for men called the New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA). At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years. The next NWTA is to be held April 16-18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. Registration is now open and spots are limited. To register online go to www.mkpky.org or call 502.939.4333 for more information. Are you ready?

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with the ManKind Project.

The Time Has Come

"Father, the time has come."

Somehow these words of Jesus in the garden on the night before what has to be the worst Friday anyone has endured give me comfort. It is at this moment, as a man, he chooses to walk past his own fear and accept his mission.

Do you have a mission? Other words may apply: purpose, destiny, calling. As a man - and especially as a man in a world that has many of its own definitions of what a man should be - I find both fear and fierceness coarse through my blood as I think about my mission.

It is not easy being a man. If you doubt that assumption, take a look around your own life as a man - and take a look at the men who surround you...in your family, in your career, in your neighborhood or even in your place of worship. What's the message(s) you receive from these men?

Most men, in my opinion, are probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue to grow in ways that speak to living out a purpose, a destiny, a calling - a mission.

The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. Many men, like myself, find this model of masculinity in the life of Christ. It is something that God, the Creator, has hardwired into each of us as men. Unfortunately, many men seek their masculinity through the consequences of pressure: addiction, sexual or otherwise, money, work, or an anger that could either be internalized or externalized.

You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to.

Author John Eldredge (Wild at Heart) says, "The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart." From a faithful place in my heart, I can offer an invitation to other men of a bold choice: Throw the door wide open!

The ManKind Project® of Kentucky (MKP KY) presents a training for men called The New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA), a 3-day experiential adventure designed to bring men deeper into their hearts and into a life of deeper connection to accountability, integrity, and mission. At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years.

In Kentucky, our next NWTA will be held April 16 - 18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. For more information, visit www.mkp.org and discover more about a circle of men who will support you in walking through the door. A new mission - a new life - is on the other side.

You have what it takes. The time has come...

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at www.mkpky.org

For more information on John Eldredge, please visit www.ransomedheart.com

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project or Ransomed Heart.

Liverpool Rain (A Tribute to Lennon)

It had been a long Monday in early December of 1980, my freshman year at Manhattanville College in New York. After a full day of classes and a nighttime slot as disc jockey for the campus AM radio station, I hit the showers and returned to my dorm room intent on watching the end of the Dolphins/Patriots game on Monday Night Football. As I dried off my hair, I was stunned to hear announcer Howard Cosell digress from the on-field activity:

“This is just a football game. An unspeakable tragedy, confirmed to us by ABC News in New York City. John Lennon, outside of his apartment building on the West Side of New York…shot twice in the back, rushed to Roosevelt Hospital…dead on arrival.”

Within seconds, I began to hear the sounds of female co-eds up and down our wing of Spellman Hall crying out in horror, an unnerving echo of grief that shivered my bare skin. What the fuck? As my eyes filled with tears, I took some weak-kneed steps towards my bed. Sitting down, I swallowed the news and made it my own: John was gone. The dream was over. As a child born in 1962, I reached the age of two and they invaded. It was all over after that. My oldest brother, Mickey, was in a rock band as I grew up a small boy idolizing how cool he was. The Beatles, and John, were his heroes – and, so, they became mine. He once met George Harrison. I would listen to the old Capitol LP’s him and my oldest sister, Nancy, owned; sometimes it would come down to crying, screaming, and kicking up a storm to get to borrow them for an hour or two. At night, I would fall to sleep with a small transistor radio under my pillow, locked on to the hot AM stations of New York City, my heart leaping back awake whenever a Beatles song would burst through the speaker.

In April of 1970, my mother bought me my first record, a copy of Paul McCartney’s first solo album, McCartney. A few weeks earlier I had been visiting our family dentist, who liked to listen to the radio as he did work. He was talking to his assistant, and I looked up to see his eyes above the line of his dental mask – they were getting wet and glistening. He stopped drilling for a few moments, and I was afraid, asking him what was wrong. There was Beatles music coming from the office radio, and he said, “They’re breaking up.” He shook his head. “They just announced The Beatles are breaking up.” I had never seen my father cry, and Dr. Brittan was the first man I’d ever witnessed, up close, come to tears. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

So, for the next decade, I stood on the sidelines and held my breath: when would they come together? As I sat on the edge of my bed at Manhattanville College on December 8, 1980, I let the breath go and wept. The sobs of grief were soon interrupted by a knocking on my door. Several young women stood out in the hall, wanting to come in and listen to my Beatles albums. For the night my room was open, the music played, and we cried and sang and lost the dream together.

I still miss you, mate.