Who's Your Poser? (A Self-Test for Men)

In his book Wild at Heart (2001, Thomas Nelson), author John Eldredge gives us a glimpse at Adam, the first man.

Adam is hiding. 'I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.' (Gen. 3:10) Eldredge says, "You don't need a course in psychology to understand men...We are hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we are meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have run off into the bushes...Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a facade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise." (p. 52)

Here's your mission, a sort of self-test for men (if you choose to accept it)...

This may be one of the most courageous things you can do as a man - and one of the most life-changing: Ask a few people you know very well to give you some feedback about you as a man.

Part of the test you can take before asking the question. Ask yourself this: "What words would I use to describe myself as a man? Are words like strong, passionate or dangerous words you would use?

On your short list of people to ask should be a few men you respect - men who model something that inspires your heart to be a better man. Also, ask the woman in your life (if you have one) what she thinks. Ah, feel your heart beating just a tad faster now, huh?

Bottom line: The Poser in each of us as men, that brilliant disguise, that "fig leaf," is always in the way of the authentic masculinity that God hardwired into each of us. And just because you may not believe in God doesn't mean you don't have a "fig leaf." Conversely, just because you believe in God doesn't mean you can't be in Poser mode.

The job of The Poser is to take away something essential to the nature of being a man.

Ask honestly; listen honestly; score honestly. And I would love to know what words you hear.

I heard: "Careful...diligent...high concern how I'm seen by others (ouch!)...prideful (ouch!)...passionate...self-absorbed at times (ouch!)...extremely intelligent...persuasive...intense...strategic." The man I asked to give me the feedback was a man I trusted to tell me the truth.

And that's the greatest weapon to defeat The Poser in me...tell the truth!

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at http://www.mkpky.org/
For more information on John Eldredge, please visit http://www.ransomedheart.com/
His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project™ or Ransomed Heart™.

Checking In

It's been a while; this I know. Most of the time in recent memory has been starkly resonant with the lack of God's voice. He is silent, quiet, still on His throne. "What is it that you are not saying?" This is the question I have fear to ask.

It seems late in life to be worried about being a better man, but that's exactly what my heart searches for. I want to be a better man. Sometimes I am - sometimes I am not. I know the difference. And sometimes I am afraid to get closer to Christ because He does not waver. How can I look upon anything that courageous for very long without feeling weak of heart?

And if I take a deep breath and a step back, I can see that the path He is leading me down has no map. It is His will to take me into the quiet places where the battles and the adventures come one after the other, where I feel out of breath and sometimes hope. God hasn't left my side for a moment - and that is a great comfort when I choose to go to war for the hearts of others.

I want to be a better man. That's something I can enjoy today as God blesses me with continued life. There are many opportunities for hope that surround me. I am not alone.

Father God...

Thank You for Your love and Your mercy. I need You to help me overcome. You are the strength I need to go on. Help me to become a better man. Amen.

An Adventure to Live - Are You Ready?

You're probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue your growth. The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to. If you're ready to make a bold choice, that door can be thrown wide open. The ManKind Project® of KY (MKP KY) presents training for men called the New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA). At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years. The next NWTA is to be held April 16-18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. Registration is now open and spots are limited. To register online go to www.mkpky.org or call 502.939.4333 for more information. Are you ready?

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with the ManKind Project.

The Time Has Come

"Father, the time has come."

Somehow these words of Jesus in the garden on the night before what has to be the worst Friday anyone has endured give me comfort. It is at this moment, as a man, he chooses to walk past his own fear and accept his mission.

Do you have a mission? Other words may apply: purpose, destiny, calling. As a man - and especially as a man in a world that has many of its own definitions of what a man should be - I find both fear and fierceness coarse through my blood as I think about my mission.

It is not easy being a man. If you doubt that assumption, take a look around your own life as a man - and take a look at the men who surround you...in your family, in your career, in your neighborhood or even in your place of worship. What's the message(s) you receive from these men?

Most men, in my opinion, are probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue to grow in ways that speak to living out a purpose, a destiny, a calling - a mission.

The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. Many men, like myself, find this model of masculinity in the life of Christ. It is something that God, the Creator, has hardwired into each of us as men. Unfortunately, many men seek their masculinity through the consequences of pressure: addiction, sexual or otherwise, money, work, or an anger that could either be internalized or externalized.

You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to.

Author John Eldredge (Wild at Heart) says, "The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart." From a faithful place in my heart, I can offer an invitation to other men of a bold choice: Throw the door wide open!

The ManKind Project® of Kentucky (MKP KY) presents a training for men called The New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA), a 3-day experiential adventure designed to bring men deeper into their hearts and into a life of deeper connection to accountability, integrity, and mission. At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years.

In Kentucky, our next NWTA will be held April 16 - 18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. For more information, visit www.mkp.org and discover more about a circle of men who will support you in walking through the door. A new mission - a new life - is on the other side.

You have what it takes. The time has come...

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at www.mkpky.org

For more information on John Eldredge, please visit www.ransomedheart.com

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project or Ransomed Heart.