The Time Has Come

"Father, the time has come."

Somehow these words of Jesus in the garden on the night before what has to be the worst Friday anyone has endured give me comfort. It is at this moment, as a man, he chooses to walk past his own fear and accept his mission.

Do you have a mission? Other words may apply: purpose, destiny, calling. As a man - and especially as a man in a world that has many of its own definitions of what a man should be - I find both fear and fierceness coarse through my blood as I think about my mission.

It is not easy being a man. If you doubt that assumption, take a look around your own life as a man - and take a look at the men who surround you...in your family, in your career, in your neighborhood or even in your place of worship. What's the message(s) you receive from these men?

Most men, in my opinion, are probably feeling ready to make a change, shake things up, or continue to grow in ways that speak to living out a purpose, a destiny, a calling - a mission.

The demands and pressures that men face today require an extraordinary level of courage, authenticity, and tenacity. Many men, like myself, find this model of masculinity in the life of Christ. It is something that God, the Creator, has hardwired into each of us as men. Unfortunately, many men seek their masculinity through the consequences of pressure: addiction, sexual or otherwise, money, work, or an anger that could either be internalized or externalized.

You may be feeling like there is something missing in your life that could make the difference between surviving and thriving in a complex world. You might be ready to take a risk and see what life's like on the other side of the door you've come to.

Author John Eldredge (Wild at Heart) says, "The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart." From a faithful place in my heart, I can offer an invitation to other men of a bold choice: Throw the door wide open!

The ManKind Project® of Kentucky (MKP KY) presents a training for men called The New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA), a 3-day experiential adventure designed to bring men deeper into their hearts and into a life of deeper connection to accountability, integrity, and mission. At the NWTA, you'll be challenged and supported to learn more about yourself in 48 hours than you've probably learned in the last 20 years.

In Kentucky, our next NWTA will be held April 16 - 18, 2010 in Bedford, IN. For more information, visit www.mkp.org and discover more about a circle of men who will support you in walking through the door. A new mission - a new life - is on the other side.

You have what it takes. The time has come...

For more information on the ManKind Project of KY, please visit us at www.mkpky.org

For more information on John Eldredge, please visit www.ransomedheart.com

His Grace Amazing™ is a Web log of its creator, Johnny Fontaine, and not affiliated with either the ManKind Project or Ransomed Heart.

Liverpool Rain (A Tribute to Lennon)

It had been a long Monday in early December of 1980, my freshman year at Manhattanville College in New York. After a full day of classes and a nighttime slot as disc jockey for the campus AM radio station, I hit the showers and returned to my dorm room intent on watching the end of the Dolphins/Patriots game on Monday Night Football. As I dried off my hair, I was stunned to hear announcer Howard Cosell digress from the on-field activity:

“This is just a football game. An unspeakable tragedy, confirmed to us by ABC News in New York City. John Lennon, outside of his apartment building on the West Side of New York…shot twice in the back, rushed to Roosevelt Hospital…dead on arrival.”

Within seconds, I began to hear the sounds of female co-eds up and down our wing of Spellman Hall crying out in horror, an unnerving echo of grief that shivered my bare skin. What the fuck? As my eyes filled with tears, I took some weak-kneed steps towards my bed. Sitting down, I swallowed the news and made it my own: John was gone. The dream was over. As a child born in 1962, I reached the age of two and they invaded. It was all over after that. My oldest brother, Mickey, was in a rock band as I grew up a small boy idolizing how cool he was. The Beatles, and John, were his heroes – and, so, they became mine. He once met George Harrison. I would listen to the old Capitol LP’s him and my oldest sister, Nancy, owned; sometimes it would come down to crying, screaming, and kicking up a storm to get to borrow them for an hour or two. At night, I would fall to sleep with a small transistor radio under my pillow, locked on to the hot AM stations of New York City, my heart leaping back awake whenever a Beatles song would burst through the speaker.

In April of 1970, my mother bought me my first record, a copy of Paul McCartney’s first solo album, McCartney. A few weeks earlier I had been visiting our family dentist, who liked to listen to the radio as he did work. He was talking to his assistant, and I looked up to see his eyes above the line of his dental mask – they were getting wet and glistening. He stopped drilling for a few moments, and I was afraid, asking him what was wrong. There was Beatles music coming from the office radio, and he said, “They’re breaking up.” He shook his head. “They just announced The Beatles are breaking up.” I had never seen my father cry, and Dr. Brittan was the first man I’d ever witnessed, up close, come to tears. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

So, for the next decade, I stood on the sidelines and held my breath: when would they come together? As I sat on the edge of my bed at Manhattanville College on December 8, 1980, I let the breath go and wept. The sobs of grief were soon interrupted by a knocking on my door. Several young women stood out in the hall, wanting to come in and listen to my Beatles albums. For the night my room was open, the music played, and we cried and sang and lost the dream together.

I still miss you, mate.

Temporal Weakness, Eternal Strength

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…”

In reading Paul’s words from his Second Letter to the Corinthians (4:7-9 NASB), I imagine him thinking, ‘Life is hard, but I will not lose heart.’ Yet, in such temporal weakness, Paul discovered an eternal strength: the power of God the Creator is endless, while the fleeting power of “…the god of this world…” (4:3 NASB) – Satan – ultimately blinds many to the truth of the gospel.

And life is hard. Allow me to share some of my own thoughts recently penned:

“I’m not even sure where to begin to pray – or for what. The loneliness kills me; the poverty crushes me into dust. I look over my shoulder and see the wake of a wasted life. I look ahead of me and see nothing. The constant nothing of the now has become unbearable.” (Nov. 7, 2009, JOURNAL FORTY: Ransomed Heart – A Battle to Fight, p. 163)

A mere 24 hours ago I felt an increasing terror of hopelessness, the confusion of trying to figure a way out of a life seemingly crushed, despaired, forsaken, and destroyed. Through the words of John Piper in a small book called When the Darkness Will Not Lift (2006, Crossway Books), I was guided to the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians. Weeping tears of joy, I realized my weakness is essential to God – and like this earthen vessel my body now lives in such weakness is temporal. God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love – foundations for His power – are eternal. But they must be sought, desired, and accepted.

Most of my life I’ve been searching for a cure from afflictions, as if Frodo Baggins of the Shire carrying the One Ring but without the hope of reaching Mordor to cast away such evil and complete my journey. And the closer I’ve drawn to God over the past four years, the more vicious the assaults on my heart have become. Life is hard – and the “god of this world” wouldn’t have it any other way: all of the pleasure is the other side of the coin to so much pain. Paul tells us “…as we received mercy, we do not lose heart, but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth…” (4:1-2 NASB). The mercies of God are eternal – and the heart is not to be lost.

I’ve been on a sojourn for my heart of late. In his book Wild at Heart (2001, Thomas Nelson, Inc.), John Eldredge symbolizes such travels in comparison to Christ’s wilderness trial, “a test of his identity…If a man is ever to find out who he is and what he’s here for, he has got to take that journey for himself. He has got to get his heart back.” (p. 6) I lost my heart in the maze of “things hidden because of shame,” and there is no amount of walking in craftiness or cheating God’s call that will lead me to the truth. In the wilderness, Satan tried to defeat Jesus through his weaknesses. Christ’s only hope was to remind the Accuser of God’s power.

“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Cor 4:3-4 NASB)

To be perishing and blind is, in the eyes of Paul, to be dying and in darkness. I think again of poor Frodo, on the steppes of Mount Doom where he can’t even remember with Samwise Gamgee’s help the greens of the Shire or the taste of strawberries and cream, feeling only “naked and alone in the dark.” Paul, as Saul, knew something about blindness and unbelieving – until he experienced, firsthand, the transforming power of the gospel of Christ. I believe we all have been on the road to Damascus, destined for a street called Straight.

Therefore, the invitation is to welcome the affliction, perplexity, persecution, and strike downs of self. One of the most courageous paths a man can seek and choose, in my humble judgment, is to die to self and live for God. Paul exhorts us: “But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, ‘I BELIEVED, THEREFORE I SPOKE,’ we also believe, therefore we also speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you.” (2 Cor 4:13-14 NASB)

My brothers, do not lose heart! The battle for faith is real – to which side does your allegiance belong? Life is hard, even for the faithful in Christ. Would you choose temporal pleasures over eternal life? In his final words at the end of Chapter 4, Paul clearly lays out a path: “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor 4:16-18 NASB)

Salvation is of God, not of me. There is nothing I can do or say or think to merit what was done by Jesus on the Cross – for me, for you, for mankind. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NASB) A choice is to be made: temporal or eternal? Choose wisely – but choose. The most important truth is the easiest to forget: Jesus Christ died so that sinners would be reconciled to God and forgiven by God. My prayers for those reading this who do not have a reconciled relationship with God would be that your next steps lead you onto the path of eternal strength and away from temporal weakness.

More on JOHN PIPER is available at: http://www.desiringgod.org/
More on JOHN ELDREDGE is available at: http://www.ransomedheart.com/

The ManKind Project of KY presents The New Warrior Training Adventure

The ManKind Project™ of KY (http://www.mkpky.org/) will be hosting The New Warrior Training Adventure™ (NWTA) on October 23-25, 2009 in Bedford, IN. Please enjoy the short promo video above (just click on the Play button).

For more information on MKP KY and men's work events you can attend (free of charge) locally prior to the NWTA, please contact Johnny Fontaine at (502) 712-1972 or at fontaine4christ@gmail.com for details.

Note: The above information is being forwarded as a service to the readers of this blog, His Grace Amazing™. The ManKind Project of KY™ or The ManKind Project™ is not formally affiliated with His Grace Amazing™ or any religion.

The ManKind Project of KY

Come join The ManKind Project® of KY for an Intro to Men's Work gathering the first Thursday of each month from 7:00 to 8:30pm.

Join us in exploring the realm of what it means to be a man. This free monthly event includes an exploration of the King, Lover, Magician, and Warrior archetype energies in all men and introduces the New Warrior Training Adventure®, a weekend retreat for men.

You are welcome to join us at 1728 Mellwood Avenue in Louisville, KY. For more information on MKP KY, please visit us on the Web at:

http://www.mkpky.org/

His Love, My Heart

His love for me is pure, more forgiving than I've ever been towards anyone who has wounded me.

There are many ways, and many days, I fall short of the man He wants me to be...when I buy into the lie that I'm unable to love someone just because they don't love me.

His love is revolutionary. It knocks on the door of my heart when:

• I think my pastor is an asshat.
• when I choose porn over the Bible.
• stuffing my belly is more important than prayer.
• it's all about me and never about Him.
• the seasons of selfishness never change.
• I judge and judge those judging me.

When I look into the mirror, what I really don't want to see is my reflection in the cross. I don't want to see how much He loves me, how deeply He's ransomed my heart with His life, how He has replaced a heart of stone with a good heart.

He bore stripes for me. And when my heart cares about someone or something else, I can see a shadow of His deeper wounds on my flesh. And He knocks on the door of my heart, the heart He has redeemed. 'Is there room at the inn for me?'

There are many days, and many ways, I don't want to look at Him or look for Him. I'd rather say something cool on Facebook or wonder when the next e-mail will arrive. I'd much prefer resentment over forgiveness. I'll hide in the middle of life and throw stones when I think no one is looking. And I'll be afraid -- scared of being the man He created me to be.

Far too few are the days when I intentionally go out to walk with Him. I wake up whenever it pleases me. I can ignore suffering and call it surviving. Man, I'd rather be me than you. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a man when I look at the men I know. Most of the time, because I'm afraid to look at Him, I'll look at the men I know and tell myself they are so much better than me. Or I'll hate them. Or I'll ignore them. He still takes time to knock on the door of my heart...

I don't tell enough people I love Him. I assume my singleness is seen as loneliness. He is the best friend I've ever had. His love for me is embarrassing in its depth, its intimacy, its strength, its endurance. There are many ways, and many days, I've heard His knocking on the door of my heart and turned away, pretended not to hear, turned up the music of my life and waited for Him to go away.

If I'm right, He loved me enough to die for me. If I'm wrong, He loved me enough to die for me. That will always make Him a better man than me. Sometimes I want to open the door and invite Him in, hoping He would stay, stay and not go, stay forever.

Because He loves me, He is knocking.

Who's On Your List?

This list is nearly 28 years old, and will mean absolutely nothing to you. But what memories it holds:

"Returning to NYC, the first day, Mark, P.J., kamakazi, Dom, Linda, Paige's party, Animal House, Sue, Danny, Tuborg™, Asteroids™, Teddy, WMVL Radio 630 AM, Pao, Hanz, Scott, Brian Kenny, going to The Apple, Julian, getting closer with Fox Chase, Karen Tracy, the Halloween Party, Dave Seaman, Mark Seaman, Rosie, Gonzo, Pablo, the Snow, Langley, Greyhound™, John Lennon, Katie, Kay Nickens, Fernando, the Low Life Party, Tracy, meeting Mark Chibbaro, Jerry, the Valentine's dance, Vitamin F, Fort Lee, Miriam, the Laundry Room, cruising in The Lincoln, Gla, Theresa, Coop, One Eye, Billy Franz, Mikey, the TR-7, Mt. St. Mary's, the Pre-Med Office, the ABSCAM phone, Betty Buckley, Cara, surfing, Chibbaro's party, the Formal, the Toga Party, numerous acts of drunken depravity...and knowing that whatever I did, I would have to enjoy it, for life isn't for playing it safe." (From Journal Three - Redemption: August 13, 1981, pp. 87-88).

As I continue to harvest my 29 year discipline of journal keeping (author John Eldredge says that "Journals chronicle journeys"), I was amazed that God gave me such a memory gift this evening. So, why share it with you?

Who's on your list?

Memory, I believe, is a powerful force that God can, and will, use to teach those who follow Him important lessons. Funny, when I read Scripture I see countless examples of people of God with "short memories." I can relate! How many times has God shown me something about myself -- only for me to forget the memory of what He revealed and find myself dealing with the same emotion or circumstance or consequence once again? Frustrating, yes...but that doesn't make me hopeless. Actually, finding this "list" tonight in an old journal made me beam with hope -- the hope that God is actually as present today as He was in my yesterday and will be in my tomorrow.

O God, the memories my list evokes:

Returning home, starting a new life, new beginnings, a freshman in college, a best friend, a crush on a sophomore beauty, a potent drink, a dorm RA who offered me beer and pot, learning how to flirt, making friends that would last years, being a DJ on the radio, rugby, a friend who has since died, stolen kisses, real East Coast snow, philosophy, traveling by bus, the death of John Lennon, roommates, cousins, falling in love with a girl and her sports car, the campus bar, cruising with a good friend, all the booze and dope a young man could consume, forming a fraternity on a campus that didn't have any, rebellion, love, and making classes in between it all.

Sin? Oh, for sure. Fun? Oh, fuggedaboutit...

For me, it reminds me what a knucklehead I was in my youth -- and still am. It shows me how forgiving God has been to me, and how that models the forgiveness I should bestow to others in my life. It also shows me how far I've come, and how, in a way, I've lost an aliveness in my heart that, apart from sin, has been crushed to death by the "should" and "ought to" that life piles onto The List -- you know, the one that I'm supposed to live by, even as a Christian.

I know not all of you journal (or, for the feminine, keep diaries). But in the still of tonight, give yourself -- and your heart -- permission to pull up a list that you've thought was long forgotten. As I was reading the one I started this entry with, the memories were still fresh, vibrant, and alive...28 years later!! The people were there, the moments frozen in the times of my heart, not aging, not good nor bad nor ugly...just what they were...life. My life, the life that God has redeemed, and the heart that He has ransomed.

Yes, it's true...I've been a bad, bad boy. And, in some ways, a terrible man. But God has a plan and a purpose for all of us, even me. And I believe He led me to that list this very night for part of that plan and a part of that purpose. Yes, Lord, I remember. Yes, God, I can laugh. And, yes, Father, I want more of what it brought up in my heart...a desire to be a man alive!!