Ready? Aim. FIRE!!!

"Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." (1 Corinthians 16:13 NASB)

I hate my Poser, the Rep (representative, that unauthentic guy I send into the world before I go in). There are moments in each day when I want to put the sonuvabitch up against the wall, lock and load, and let the bullets fly while he takes a long draw on his last smoke.

Ready? Aim. FIRE!!!

I can be somewhat passionate about things I'm passionate about. And that scares some people. Why? I'm really not "alert" to the next show I have to watch on TV (I don't own one), or the next way to stick my nose up my bosses ass (I'm currently unemployed, so that lets me off that hook), or who to glad hand at the Sunday School coffee & doughnut table (man, I don't even wear a tie to a Baptist church, so you know I'm going to hell!). So right now I'm asking God, "Hey, God, what are You getting me ready for? What's The Battle about today?"

I love talking with God. He listens. And He answers. Now, I'm sure there are some theological heavyweights out there (probably NOT reading this blog) who might say I'm stretching it to assume that I'm hearing the voice of God in response. There's always that caution of "Is it really me or God?" That's why it's a good thing I'm not called to seminary...I'd end up in double-super secret probation or something for going medieval on some MDiv candidate who thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks some more.

Go ahead...fire your Rep! Oh, come on...you know The Poser, The Mask. Every man has one (I have several, who have served me well over the years). Who's The Poser tell you to be? Who's The Poser tell you The Poser is? And what about The Mask? What does yours look like? Does it fit really well? You know....the one you wear for your work, your wife, your church, even the one you wear for you!

Standing firm in the faith is not easy -- especially when "faith," at times, is just a group of men and women standing around posing before God. Sometimes I sit around my church body and think, "What in the crap have I gotten myself into?" It's moments like that I have to fire my Rep...put the bastard up against the brick wall and pepper him with hot lead until the clip is empty and he's hasta la vista, baby.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I really think Jesus is only concerned about my relationship with Him. Of course He cares that I like to read all of His Story about how He's got what it takes to come through, to fight, to offer adventure, and what He wants me to do to rescue all of the Beauty that is a part of Him and this world. It's relationship, relationship, relationship!!!

So I have to continue to take aim on what it is that the world, the flesh, and the Devil would tell me is relational. I don't believe it's relational for a man to be asleep and to let his heart get taken out, day after day, Christian or not. I don't think it's relational for a man to not give a damn about other men, the lost culture of initiation, or the absolutely abysmal state of man in our current Western culture. And I don't think it's relational for me to be swept up in a formulaic relationship with Christ, passing over the visceral, the blood and guts, and down in the balls relationship with Jesus that gives me the bullets to put into the rifle of truth and living.

Act like men, be strong. I can hear the testicles of many men in my church shriveling as I say that. What was Paul asking me so long ago, to be meek and mild, to shrink from The Truth and my truth? And why is it so inviting for men, The Poser, The Rep, to go small, to give all power away, and to show up in ways that resemble a piece of Swiss cheese instead of a man made in the image of God? No wonder porn, drugs, money, and all the rest of the comforters I can name seem like the easy way out to a man. Emptiness requires little to be empty. If I'm not willing to step up, I don't have to put on my shoes.

So, if I choose today to stay in The Poser, The Rep, I'll gladly accept the blindfold and the cigarette from you. Go ahead. Ready? Aim. FIRE!!! I choose to put the spotlight on The Poser, to fire The Rep, to put the man I don't want to be on in front of the firing squad. Good riddance to all of them...just for today!

WILD AT HEART - Where Am I On My Journey?

Yesterday I wrapped up facilitating a 9-week journey through a book study of Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (http://www.ransomedheart.com/). My masculine journey continues, as it should, and I wanted to check back in today by answering the question, "Where am I on my journey?"

1. I'VE ANSWERED THE FATHER'S INVITATION: Back in early September 2008, when I first read Wild at Heart, I was scared. After several years of walking with God, I felt as if God the Father found me. And soon after this revelation, I heard His invitation: "Will you let Me initiate you as a man?" From where I'm at today, I can see somewhere along the line I answered, "Yes. I need You to." I'm not exactly sure where or when I answered, but I do know why -- because, as a man, I've been longing in my heart for His Fathering.

2. I'M NOT ALONE: My masculine journey is not a solitary one, for I have the presence of God as Father, the Lord Jesus as a Brother, and the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit as a Counselor/Grandfather. The masculine presence of the Trinity touches the heart of this journey in ways I can't fully articulate, but I will try.

• God as Father - A sense of the fathering my Dad couldn't/wouldn't/didn't offer. A combination of love and discipline. Leading me, not dragging me. Loving me in ways I've always wanted a Father to love me...and Him seeing me in ways I've so desperately wanted to be seen.


• Christ as Brother - It comforts me to picture Jesus as my older Brother, a hero to have, a protector, a model of a man I want to be, and someone who always has time for me. My friend when all other friends are gone. Someone who shows me how it's done, the right way. Someone who will always be there to talk to, about anything.


• Holy Spirit as Counselor/Grandfather - The wise Counselor, all-knowing, patient, stern yet compassionate in showing me the ways I fall short, and the depth of wisdom I desire to attain. Someone who marvels me with the history only He knows, and tells me that I have a place in the Story. A man among men, a gentle man, a strong man who has aged well and teaches me to slow down and enjoy the process.

3. I'VE GOTTEN MY HEART BACK: In the process of discovering the message behind Wild at Heart (2001: Thomas Nelson, Inc.), I've found my heart in both battling for it and also the hearts of other men. This isn't easy -- the journey into the wilderness to find my heart has been challenging and full of emotions, risk, and sacrifice. But standing where I am on the masculine journey, I can feel my heart alive, beating strong, and desiring more than it ever has.

4. I'VE FOUND MY PLACE (FOR NOW) IN THE BATTLE: For now, my place in The Battle looks like continuing the fight for the hearts of men -- and securing my own. Some of that work is a part of men's ministry in my church. Another part is the work I involve myself with in The ManKind Project of KY (http://www.mkpky.org/). The most challenging aspect is how I deepen i my personal relationship with God. He is the One I'm a Warrior for!

5. I'M LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT: The Battle has many fronts. Free of drugs, I now fight back against the temptations of lust and pornography. Pride and ego wage a constant war against me. Spiritual complacency is another fight, as are the fears I must go hand-to-hand against with finding employment, health and financial concerns, and pursuing quite a long list of goals and desires that are pleasing to God.

There's another question to answer: "Do I have what it takes?" This is the core question in the life of every man. There are days I forget to ask it of myself. There are days I avoid the answer. And, thank God, there are days like this when He speaks the answer so clearly and strongly into this adventurous, passionate, dangerous, courageous, and wild heart He has ransomed.

And this journey continues...

A Man I Want To Be

There are days when I'm not too sure of the man I am...or the man God wants me to be.

Ever have days like that as a man? Maybe some of you reading this are thinking, "Better him than me." Maybe some of you have it all together.

I don't...but that's where my hope is in how God is initiating me as a man.

What follows is a poem written by a woman, not a man. I wish I wrote it. Better still, I wish I could be the man this woman desires...a man I want to be.

For today, I just wanted to share this poem with you men. Is there anything you read in this that reflects who you are...or who you are not? It truly inspires, and begs reflection.

And action...

Live Fully Oh King, Run Hard Strong Man by Cherri Lucas

I have longed a lifetime only for you.
I am steady watching. You are never in view.
Are you fighting and pressing near?
Break through walls; overcome all fear!
You are a king! A majestic man!
Full of honor and courage to stand.
Oh mighty warrior, lead and fight!
Conquer the darkness with holy light.
Your heart is on fire, my humble king!
Your hands how they war! Your mouth how it sings!
You’re covered in blood, sinless and free.
Your enemies they turn, they run and flee!
Your eyes are bright and clearly speak,
Of strength and victory from the Christ you seek!
The Lion of Judah dwells in your chest.
He is your courage, your strength, your best!
His roar is wild, it’s fearless and untamed!
It is felt and heard in your heart aflame!
Come and find me my love! Pursue me hard!
To all but you my king, my heart is barred.
I cannot bear a life without you my lord.
Come with violence, and shield and sword!
Come with strong arms, and be gentle and free!
Have all that I am! Without fear take me!
I long to move you like nothing ever could!
Like mountains uprooted and mysteries understood!
I need to know and be known by you.
To breathe as one and no longer two.
That our hearts would beat together with His,
Forever and ever as the Holy One lives!
I pray He delivers this love and desire,
Into the depths of your heart of fire.
Until we join by His great plan,Live fully oh king, run hard strong man!

For more information on men's work in the Louisville, KY area, visit The ManKind Project of KY at http://www.mkpky.org/

Discover the invitation to the masculine journey through John Eldredge and the Ransomed Heart Ministries at http://www.ransomedheart.com/

What's My Mission?

"God, what's my mission?"




I asked the men who are with me in the book study of Wild at Heart by John Eldredge to stretch and ask that question of God -- and wait on the answer, because there is a purpose, a mission for each of us as men.



What's my mission?



I have a Mission statement: "My Mission is to manifest the glory of God by serving others with grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love."



This covers a lot of territory, much like a shotgun blast. But as I thought about the question last night while waiting for sleep to wrap me in its arms, I was spoken to by God's sweet Voice: 'Your Mission, for Me, is to be My Warrior and to fight for the hearts of men!'



As I sat in the cool of the Kentucky morning, letting the warm sun God put into the sky splash across my face, I smiled as I thought about dying. Naturally, this Holy Week, many will think about Christ carrying the Cross. I do. And I'm dying, every moment of every day, getting closer to His moment when He will choose my end and bring me into His eternal presence. It's a good day to die -- and live!!



Mission makes it so. A warrior for Christ? I've always enjoyed a good fight -- not in the physical, rock 'em sock 'em sense...but in the mythical, the inspirational, the emotional. And in being His warrior, I have a cross to bear -- every day. Jesus came to go to war for my heart -- and paid the battlefield sacrificial price, the ultimate -- His life for mine.



Men's work, for me, is about life and death, war and victory, bearing the cross and laying down my life for my friends. It's mythical, poetic, and real. Sadly, I worship at a church that has too many sleeping men -- men who have fallen in love with formula instead of relationship. But I smile, too, knowing that the war for their hearts -- no matter what their age -- is still a battle worth fighting, still a cross worth bearing. And God has given me a mission -- His.



Christ put His body on the Cross for all the broken and lost bodies of men that walk this earth. I see them, out there, so much pain, suffering, violence, emptiness. I have my moments, still, where that illusion offers me another mask to wear instead of manifesting His glory. Nowhere along the way did I ever think that war was easy...but it is beautiful. There is beauty in the fight, beauty in the victory...and beauty in being His warrior.



So as I live my mission, I offer the invitation to join me in the fight. Bear the cross. Fight the war. Offer your heart to Him and watch how He'll put you on the front line of His Great Battle. And, if you're sleeping, sleep well, sleep deep...and know that I will risk waking you up to take your place in the line. No one else can take your place in the line of battle...for another man would have to leave his place to do so.



My Mission is not to leave my place in the line for yours. My Mission is to be a warrior for the Lord, and to battle for the hearts of men.



*For more information on men's work in the Louisville, KY area, visit The ManKind Project of KY, Inc. at http://www.mkpky.org/

*For more information on John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart Ministries, visit them on the Web at www.RansomedHeart.com

An Ambassador

"You got to go to the lonesome valley. You got to go there by yourself. Nobody else can go for you."

This morning I awoke, fresh from dreams of death, immorality, and lust. The Enemy was there in the shadows of my bedroom, whispering 'See, you are so phony, so false, so unChrist-like. Get it?"

It wasn't until later today that I found some truth in God's Word: "Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:20-21 NASB)

Seems to me the apostle Paul knew a little bit about traveling into the lonesome valley. As I move forward into living out my Mission today (TO MANIFEST THE GLORY OF GOD BY SERVING OTHERS WITH GRACE, MERCY, FORGIVENESS, AND LOVE), I find that ambassadorship is the ability to realize that I must go into the lonesome valley by myself -- yet I am not alone!

Paradox continues to surprise me in life, the way the cold waters of the ocean shrivels the manhood. I am a leader, I am running from being seen. I am free from the horrors of addiction, I seek my comforters. I am powerful, I am so weak in so many ways. I am a man, I am a boy. I am an ambassador for Christ, I am a sinner refusing even His grace.

God is initiating me in powerful ways. He is calling me into my place in the line of the Great Battle. There is no other man who can leave his place in line to take mine. As God continues to call me to engage and battle for the hearts of men, I find my position as an ambassador for him assaulted constantly. 'You suck. You're worthless. You will fail. You are __________.'

I go to the lonesome valley. I am an ambassador. I am not alone. And I fight on, refusing to be taken out by the thought of giving up. The winds of grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love blow across the fire in my belly and the flames of my heart.

For more information on men's work, please visit The ManKind Project™ (www.mkp.org). In Kentucky, visit us at http://www.mkpky.org/.

For more information on the battle for men's hearts in Christ, ally with John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart Ministries (http://www.ransomedheart.com/).

Love Fiercely - It's A Safer World!

Hard to believe it's been 9 weeks since I've posted...but it is what it is.

The inspiration to return to His Grace Amazing was what happened to me this past Thursday through Sunday in Bedford, IN.

It was there I had the privilege, blessing, and honor of being a staff member, along with 36 other men, on the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA), a 3-day experiential masculine journey of discovery and initiation sponsored by The ManKind Project of KY (http://www.mkpky.org/), of which I'm also a member.

Back in the "real world," getting only 17 hours of sleep between Wednesday and Sunday, with a heart so overflowing with fierce and authentic love for men's work, I can say it's a safer world out there today because 16 men came to do their NWTA with a willingness to step into the unknown and travel through to the other side.

Staff members came from Kentucky, Missouri, the Carolina's, Georgia, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Texas, and Canada to support these men in a journey that Western culture has all but forgotten -- the process of masculine initiation and mission building.

Why men's work? Why, as a man perhaps reading this, should I care about such an organization as MKP?

I found MKP and the NWTA in 1996. I grew in the work for 6 years - then actually walked away. When I returned 6 years later, I found two things to be true: the men who I knew originally who stayed were stronger, better, safer, and more authentic men AND the new men who had joined in my absence were powerfully impacted, as I was, by the NWTA and its follow up path of integrating men's work into our lives with purpose, mission, accountability, and integrity.

But over this past weekend, I saw something, a blessing from God Himself, a measure of grace unmeasurable, a love so fierce it hurt my heart to take it all in, a power, a courage in men, a truth of spirit, and a vulnerability and nakedness so honorably exposed that it made me realize that His grace is amazing and that I, as a man, have a responsibility to stand in such truth - whether standing on the mountaintop or trudging through the valleys below.

So, go ahead - LOVE FIERCELY!! It's okay to do so...it's a safer world out there today. Men are working, men are loving, men are changing. This world is hungry for authentic masculine energy, leadership, and love. I do so by living out my Mission: My Mission is to manifest the glory of God by serving others with grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. Don't have a Mission? Need one? Desire one? Want one?

Come join us! It would be an honor to watch you, as a man, discover yours - and encourage mine!

*MEN IN KENTUCKY: Our next NWTA is scheduled for October 23-25, 2009. Check out our Website for registration details. We also host a monthly Intro to Men's Work gathering at the MKP KY Lodge (1728 Mellwood Avenue in Louisville) running from 7:00-8:30pm the first Thursday of each month.

For more information on The ManKind Project, visit us on the Web @ http://www.mkp.org/